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The Remembered Self: A Journey into the Heart of the Beast

M. J. Payne

Pages: 184
ISBN: 978-145752-921-4
List Price: 14.95
Category: Fiction
Available: August 2014
Edition: Perfectbound

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This book is about the news that’s not fi t to print. It deals frankly with issues that are unacceptable in polite society and some persons would deem do not even exist. It is about how one human being deals with torture, trauma, sexual abuse and desire and the shame and self-hatred buried memories evoke when they begin to spill out. Suppressed trauma creates a debt that is always paid in some way. There is an individual price a person pays in trying to censor and muzzle unacceptable memories. It is like the old Chinese foot binding process that produced deformed feet that were historically considered beauti ful but forced the bones into a painful and unnatural form with the breaking of their structure so the victi m was no longer capable of walking independently. The process reduced their abiliti es. Abuse creates deformity of the spirit because agony and ordeal will out themselves in one way or another and take the greater part of a human being’s energy to repress. The social price is daunti ng. Sexuality easily becomes ritualized. The enormous drive of sexual impulses makes the ability to control a person through them eff ecti ve. The element of the taboo nature of forthright discussion makes people fl ee from the topic. This censorship allows abuse to conti nue. Read on and look into the heart of darkness, the tools that perpetuate it, and how I survived and fl ourished against the odds.

M.J. Payne is a graduate of the University of Kentucky Honors Program and a member of Phi Beta Kappa. She is interested in human rights, literature, history, and has a business background. She is an experienced research writer and lives in the DFW Metroplex with her husband and Dobermans.