The Dating Weasel: A Remedial Dating Course for Men
List Price: 14.95
Available: May 2015
It is an undeniable fact that every man finds dating to be awful, and every man is awful at it. This is hardly surprising, since no guy understands anything about women. How is he supposed to succeed at dating when he has no clue what the female expects him to say, wear, or do? What is the correct response when she asks his opinion on her stupid hairstyle or the size of her buttocks? Is there anything he can do to reduce the amount of time she spends grimacing and yelling? Fortunately, bachelors of all ages now have The Dating Weasel to finally and definitively answer those seemingly impossible questions. And the answer is: Who cares? With the breakthrough strategies in this remedial course, men don’t need to understand a thing about women in order to date one. To find love, all a man needs is: (1) this hilarious book (preferably several copies); (2) an under-active conscience; and (3) access to a few common household items (e.g., onions, sofa cushions, dead hearing aids, etc.). Thus equipped, the male dating student will learn invaluable lessons, including how to:
• Find a woman whose looks don’t resemble something from a coroner’s training video, and who has the optimal level of psychosis;
• Hunt down and ask out a woman without incurring serious physical injury to himself (and even without having to bathe
• Navigate all phases of the date in a way that minimizes her nausea and maximizes his chance of success;
• Defend himself against PMS, visiting her family, sex, gift-giving holidays, commitment, and other dating-related horrors.
By the end of this book, the male will learn to channel his inner Weasel so that he will be able to date the women he wants… and want the women he dates.
AUTHOR BIO H. Darren Porter is a middle-aged double divorcé whose claim to fame is that he has been on more than 2,000 dates in his life and has never once been drugged and left for dead in a field. He would love to be a full-time writer but is realistic enough to know only about three people have ever made a living at it without turning into toothless alcoholics. So, he has an actual salaried job, but is close-mouthed about it for reasons he keeps to himself (he will say it has nothing to do with the furniture rental or hair re-growth industries). He is more than a little uncomfortable telling you where he lives.
Brad Kersey isn’t.